Mar 14 2009
Call to Restore Parents Rights to Discipline their Children
I write this blog, today, as a parent furious with society. Parents are unable to discipline their children at home and in public. This has led to false accusations, unruly children, violent bullies and cowardly parents who are afraid of being jailed for disciplining their children. As a parent of two children, I have watched women lose their children because they swatted them on the butt for being unruly. I’m tired of it. My own children have been victims of unruly children in their schools and daycares. The parents of these children can’t and won’t discipline their children.
My daughter was recently bullied at school by two girls. These girls threatened her, pushed her, followed her home and cursed at her in front of numerous school workers with no consequences. We called the police several times. The school did not tell me what, if any, punishment the girls received. After several complaints, I removed my daughter from school. She is now going to an online school in the safety of my home.
My son was bitten 13 times at a daycare in the course of a month. The daycare was powerless to do anything to stop the bitters and the parents were unwilling to do anything to correct their children. I had to remove my son from the daycare. He, now, has trouble trusting children he hasn’t met before, cries hysterically if I leave him at the sick-child daycare that my work provides (which I’m required to take part in order not to miss a day of work), and won’t play in the public play areas in the mall or restaurants.
The violence that other children inflict on other children has risen in the last 10 years. Do you wonder why? Well, I have a theory—corporal punishment has been taken away. Yes, I said it, we can’t spank our children anymore and that’s why they are unruly and violent towards each other. Children are not taught to fear pain so they inflict it on others. Did you ever hear of children shooting up schools in the 30s? 40s? 50s? 60s? 70s? 80s? NO, you didn’t! You know why? Because parents and school principles could spank children if we got out of line. Get this, many of the children in those time periods had guns as Christmas presents (watch the movie A Christmas Story) and they were taught how to shoot them. I was taught how to properly shoot a gun when I was a teen by my father. He had a camp and hunted. I, personally, do not like guns and don’t own one—and never would, but it was the norm years ago.
This has affected me personally and I’m tired of nosey-meaning-well-busy-bodies who think every parent who doesn’t speak like their voice is dripping with honey to their kids is a child abuser! It’s time they mind their business. I’m not saying there aren’t child abusers out there, but not every parent is one! The lady, Tamera Jo Freeman, who spanked her kids on the airplane and lost her two kids, should get her kids back. The people on the plane should understand that she was trying to control the situation. She may not have handled it the way they would have, but she had to get those kids to sit down and be quiet. There are several women who have been wrongly accused. Take a look at this website http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/452154813
I’m a loving, mostly level-headed, hard-working, single mom of two kids and all I want is the right to raise my kids to be productive, self-respecting, and happy adults. I can’t do that with people raising violent children and others wrongly judging good parents as abusers! (The guy in Wal-mart, this one is for you!)
Redflowers,
COME ON, now I really don’t worry about whether or not people spank their kids, but to say that school shootings happen because people don’t hit their kids is just unsupportable. I’m just saying that reasoning is not sound. You could better argue that during the 30s -80s children didn’t have CSI, CSI-SVU, CSI Miami and a myriad of other forensic crime dramas and claim that is why. Not saying it is, but it’s damn sure a better argument. I’ve known plenty of well behaved children who were never beaten. But they are polite, well mannered and treat other children with respect… And parents still do spank their children; furthermore I have seen plenty of children who get spanked frequently that are little delinquents bullies. The logic just doesn’t follow. I wouldn’t tell someone they shouldn’t have the right to spank their kids, its up to the parent. But I also know about plenty of parents who didn’t differentiate between a spanking and kicking a child’s ass. So yeah, there has become a silly political football that gets kicked around by society over whether smacking a kid on the ass is a problem. And yes some parents are afraid to spank their kids, (none I know) none of the parents I’ve ever known were afraid to spank their kids. But I’m sure some are. I think the issue is about supervision and constructive attention paid to children. There is widespread child neglect taking place, I think that is why we have children acting out in alarming numbers. They are bored, unattended and no one really gives a shit about them. Its little surprise that children like that should act out, it’s actually quite predictable. I would add, that to spank children who are acting out because they are being neglected is antithetical to getting them under control. They are more likely to act out further because it gets them attention and if they are getting regular beatings, the nature of their acting out is likely to become more physical and abusive.
I didn’t say beaten, I said spanked, there is a major difference.
Well, any lack of discipline is a problem. Linking it to spanking my be a stretch, but I’m sick of dealing with people who stop parents from correcting their kids and those who won’t correct their kids. If you see a parent yelling at their 2 year old, is it abuse or discipline???? I say discipline, but a jerk in Wal-mart thought it was abuse and called the police! Someday, that jerk’s kid is going to be throwing one heck of a fit in a store and he isn’t going to know what to do!!! Too bad I won’t be there to see it! I can tell you from experience, talking sweetly to a screaming child isn’t going to get them to calm down!!!
My Mother and Father never once spanked any of us. Thee were nine of us. I’m not sure why that happened. I don’t think we were angels, that’s for sure. We had a lot of outdoor activities in those days. However, in those days, my Mother did put the children in a large playpen, so they didn’t have a lot of opportunity to misbehave.
I live with my daughter who runs a daycare here and we don’t usually spank the children who come here (never). However, if our children misbehave they will get a spanking, or go into “time out”. I persoanlly have no trouble slapping the hand of a child who is knowingly misbehaving, after being instructed to stop.
i did sign the petition. My daughter was a school teacher, and, of course, never spanked a child.
When I told her about your child, who was bitten 13 times, she said, why wasn’t the other child removed from the daycare? i think that biting is a very serious thing. It happens very quickly, and, if the skin is broken, it is obviously very critical to the bitten child’s health. Possibly a biter needs to be removed physically from otherr children and given special activities.
I did ask why the child was not removed and this daycare was his last resort…it would have been nice to know that up-front. I don’t normally spank my children. It is an option, but it’s rarely inforced. I do, however, give a stern talking to and use time-out. It truly is different for each child. Some children only respond to time-outs while others think it’s a joke. It should be up to the parent and not the courts! Or the nosey jerk in Wal-mart….the child he “stepped in” for was only being yelled at and restrained from jumping out of a moving grocery cart. It was not his business! But, he, like so many others, think they know better. My sister has no kids, but you’d swear she could raise any child better than everyone else! LOL
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